Ask not for whom the gurdy hurds. It hurds for thee.
oh shit its five in the morning but i couldn't not do this one
Group of friends who are close because they all have the same superpower except no they don't.
As in, they all think the other ones have the same superpower as them, but, in fact, they do not.
For example:
Time traveler who always is running into these other people who seem to know what's going on or what will happen and is so happy he can finally share his travel stories.
Precognitive who is relieved he isn't the only one with the gift and who is glad to get help averting future disasters.
Mind reader with a horrible memory who tries to stay on top of things by skimming surface thoughts. You want to talk about next week's election results and how they changed the next decade? She's with you.
Totally normal guy who thinks the others have the absolute best bit ever and loves playing along.
They save the world at least twice without a single clue shared between the four of them.
ordered pizza from a small local place and they didnt actually cut it so i've chosen to revert to a wild animal and begin ripping it apart instead of just using a knife to portion slices
absolutely visceral experience. food is so much more satisfying when you have to fight it. i may be feral
i am not proud to say this but that pizza lasted fifteen minutes. i normally am not that gluttonous, but this goes beyond glutton. there was gluttony and wrath. a whirlwind of sauce, cheese, and pepperoni, all atop a flatbread that was shred apart by my own hands due to the neglect of another
in that moment i was wild. i was free. i understood the simplest joys in life. the joy of eating and manifesting my own destiny
been reflecting on this all day and the unsliced pizza experience honestly ruled. i think everyone should try it sometime or another. you have not truly lived until you just absolutely obliterated a pizza in such a feral manner
is this you
yes
run
My best friend and I have this tradition we call “chicken dinner” where we get a rotisserie chicken, lay it on a tarp, start on opposite ends of the tarp, and on the count of three we both run at the chicken and start ripping into it with our bear hands. We will be on our knees fighting for the best pieces of meat, ripping into the chicken with our faces, and it is the most viscerally delicious chicken I have ever had in my life. Grease gets everywhere. We have to do this outside. We have to tie our hair in buns beforehand.
You have never known the joy of food until you are lunging at your friend to rip the best part of the chicken out of their hand, rolling around on the tarp, stuffing it in your face before they can retaliate, and you realize “holy shit did I just growl?” And then you realize they are doing it too.
The chicken gets decimated. It’s absolutely destroyed. We aren’t allowed back inside until we have been hosed down. It’s the best.
Oh ye of little faith.
People across the street looking through the blinds, "Harold! Harold come quick, they're doing the chicken thing again!"
Slipper lobsters go seriously hard. No fr they’re so swag and full of merriment
What if I was a slipper lobster and you were an isopod and we were best friends and ate a carcass
…i wanna smash ‘em with a cartoon mallet
I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it
Believing the gender binary is stupid horseshit doesn’t require me to change my gender actually
Yeaheyah you get it. Not trans but i believe in their beliefs. Sometimes i remember people form gender complexes around what alcoholic beverages or colors they like and i just wonder how they’re not fucking exhausted from keeping up this stupid fucking horseshit. Just do whatever you want forever
@nimagine i know u reblogged this from me but ur so correct 🙏 get peer reviewed
a gallon of milk but with this kind of cap:
quick suggestion
let me raise you an idea ive been keeping for years, just for this moment
The unholy trinity.
only the finest culinary experiences for my followers
i have never before more wanted to hit a post with a stick until it stops moving
Girl what the fuck is going on in tumblr offices right now to let the decisions they just dropped be made
To the executive who made the decision and the RND staff that told said exec to make that decision: the only reason you’re winning the race right now is because you’re the tortoise. Don’t be the fucking hare.
“Valley what the fuck are you talking about”
Today, tumblr staff posted a very long announcement on their blog, which you can find here.
It’s a long post that’s pretty hard to read, mostly because the entire thing reads like the writer was held at gunpoint by the zuck himself. (To the poor staff member who had to write this shitshow, I’m so sorry, may you get a raise for your efforts) Here are some of the main points:
- Tumblr (the company) is concerned about gaining more users from outside sources, such as other social media sites
- They’re planning on doing this by updating their advertising practices to the industry standard (basically, advertising tumblr the way Meta advertises Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, or the way Twitter advertises itself)
- They want to change how tumblr looks when you’re not logged in so that more people are convinced to sign up (they didn’t say how, exactly) but that’s not fully fleshed out yet
- Gave a very interesting statistic that the average tumblr user scrolls though 25 posts a day and did not specify wether or not this is good or bad (most likely because it’s fucking wrong)
- Plan to improve their “algorithmic ranking capabilities on all feeds” (which I don’t understand fully, but it sure fucking sounds like data mining)
- Plan to change thread mechanics again, but this time they’re collapsible
- Plan on putting new creators in the forefront by boosting their visibility on all dashes, and “improving the feedback loop for creators” (which once again I don’t understand fully)
- Plan on implementing spam filters when posts make rounds
- There’s a lot more RND on their end about to happen, regarding notifications, emails and staff-to-user communications
- Want to make emails more personal per creator (??????????)
- Backend stuff regarding site stability and performance on mobile
TL;DR: Tumblr is attempting to catch up with other social medias by becoming more like Twitter, even though the whole reason they had a massive influx of users recently was because of their lack of invasive, intrusive and vile business practices to sell themself.
Needless to say, people are fucking pissed. A lot of this is the exact opposite of what tumblr users want, and feels like the thing that’ll make this site finally crash and burn alongside the others. Which is terrifying!
So if staff are reading this, I’m gonna repeat my statement: the singular reason your site ended up being refuge in this time of dying socials is because the bar is in hell, and you barely jumped it by not having the bells and whistles that everyone’s tired of. Don’t trip while you’re still ahead.
i SO wish there was a like button for asks, like “i see you, I read your message, I enjoyed it, I just don’t have the energy to reply rn so i’m saving it for later and if i never get to it i’m so sorry”. but there’s not. so i just suffer.
YES YES
PleASE.
I WOULD USE IT FOR LIKE FIFTY TIMES A DAY
I know Sabo disowned his blood family and vice versa but by blood ties Sterry being king makes him a Prince and i fuck rly hard with that aesthetic
Sabos mannerisms like just the sheer pedigree shining through his weirdo crazy would be pretty fun to see like everyone is distinctly reminded of where he came from and ofc that doesnt mean anything at all but
The goddamn accent the tilt of his chin, the curl to his lip its just too damning
Definitely a very fun name to pull out of the charades hat during one of them RA staff parties
A lower ranked soldier pulls Sabo impression from the hat and theyre like oh god is he here is he gonna get offended if I do what im about to do?
Gets egged on like naaaaahh its cool (its true Sabo doesnt care, hes just confused as to why everyone enjoys it so much)
Aforementioned lower ranked soldier nails the chin tilt but goes the extra mile and does the fancy wrist thing Sabo does to check his wrist watch
Entire room in an uproar like holy shit he DOES do that
Sabos been lurking in a corner smiling bemusedly at the energy
being in a completely normal nonthreatening scenario & environment and thinking “i have GOT to get the fuck out of here” with the intensity of some trapped neurotic prey animal
Deadpool introduces Danny Phantom to the 4th wall.
3am lemon run 🍋 (as one does) in socks n’ knock off slides with your informally adopted son/human nightlight.